7 Ways To Regain Your Love Of Homeschooling
Homeschooling is such a calling. For some, it is by academic necessity. Others consider it a moral and religious desire. For many, it a mixture of many reasons.
Ask a homeschool mom and they will mostly likely have a long list of their “why” to homeschool. It takes some solid whys to stay faithful to homeschooling. Hard days happen in homeschooling, just as in every aspect of parenting. However, we usually can face those bad days knowing the good ones outnumber the bad ones.
Challenges Homeschool Moms Face
If you ask homeschool moms and they are having an honest moment on a real day, we might give you a very long list of the challenges we face.
Financial struggles.
Ongoing illness for our family members.
Sibling fights.
Household messes that never stay cleaned.
Conflict with their spouse over what is important for the kids.
Naysaying from friends and family.
Curriculum that worked for one kid but is not “clicking” for the next kid.
Wanting to use more curriculum or less curriculum.
Seeking to create a nicer space for kids to learn.
More free time outside.
Craving a bigger field trip budget.
You get the idea. Big and small challenges and desires face us homeschool moms all the time. And we are prone to fall into comparison traps because there is so much to see and do thanks to the Internet.
As with every other part of life, it is easy to let discontentment seep into our hearts. We look at other people homeschooling and wish we had what they had. Often, these coveting thoughts will lead our hearts to even more discouragement that we don’t need.
So, if you are like me and face seasons where your love of homeschooling seems to have disappeared. Relax. You are not alone. Here are a few ways to ditch burnout in our homeschool mom lives. Does it make the problems go away? Not always. But it can help us face challenges with courage and conviction rather than comparison and crying.
7 Ways To Regain Your Love of Homeschooling
Today let’s look at some of the the things that may be causing us to despise our homeschool journey and discuss Biblical ideas for how to address these joy stealers.
Let’s bring back the joy of the Lord to our home, family and homeschooling life!
Start saying no to more exciting opportunities.
When my parents starting homeschooling me over 30 years ago, there was not much in the way of homeschool activities. In fact, we tried to make sure we didn’t go out the house much during school hours so as not to catch the ire of social workers.
Homeschooling was so new to our area that many were confused if it was even legal. Homeschooling was legal in our state by then but activities were slow to come by. We made them happen by interacting more at church and finding a core group of friends that we could meet occassionally.
Fast forward to homeschooling today. Even in our rural area, I live within a simple drive to two huge homeschool co-op programs, numerous Awanas programs, library programs, and a whole host of non-school connected sports and dance options. It is awesome!
But it is also a double-edged sword. There is so much interesting stuff to do that it can creep in and take over our lives. We have tried to say yes to way too many “good” things until we regretted saying yes to anything! Burnout occurred because too much “yes” led to less freedom in our family schedule.
What To Do
Have some serious talks with your husband.
Decide together what is good but not necessary for your family and what is good and a priority for your family. Good things happening does not mean it is good for your family. Check in at least once a year and see if changes have occurred.
For this season, we attend chess club and juijitsu as our two out-of-home and church priorities. That’s it. We don’t participate in a lot of other options. This choice has brought so much joy back to our lives. We have time together at home everyday and it is wonderful and freeing!
Take time to find some areas to say “no” to rather than “yes” to so you can enjoy a slower way of life with your family.
Simplify to the bare bones subjects.
Reading. Writing. ‘Rithmethic.
My Grandpa was only able to attend a one room schoolhouse until 8th grade. However, he was a life long learner that was more well-read and knowledgeable than people with many degrees and titles. Why?
Because he stuck to the basics the rest of his life. He was always challenging himself to do mathematical figures in his head and on paper. No calculator was allowed until he had figured a math problem on his own first. He read daily from real books. Fiction wasn’t something that intrigued him. He poured over his set of encyclopedias, his Bible commentaries, his farm journals and he delighted in a good biography. Reading was as natural to him as breathing. At the end of each day, he would sit down and journal his day. He also wrote down church history, family history, and farm history.
Grandpa kept it simple and was one of the wisest, Godliest men I have ever known. His example has done much to influence how I homeschool. When I find myself in burn out mode trying to do ALL the subjects, I stop and remember Grandpa and his lesson in simplicity.
Foreign languages, music, art, history, and sports all have benefits that we can enjoy but they can steal our joy by crushing us under the burden of the need to do it ALL!!!
What To Do
To help me regain my love of homeschooling, I sit down and look at the list of subjects we are trying to accomplish. Usually, I find that there are areas we can cut down drastically-especially when it comes to busy-work like extra worksheets.
On days when our time is short, we work out a math page or do flash cards. Something to keep our mind working through basic math concepts. If we can do mental math and solve problems as we go through our normal day, even better! My son loves to do mental math at the grocery store to see how close he can get to the right total at the cash register.
Next, we make sure we read something. Some days it is small stack of good picture books. Other days, it is chapter books and short stories. By bedtime each day, we have read for at least 30 minutes out loud. Typically, I aim for at least 30 minutes of read aloud time. Your goal can of course be different. For us, 30 minutes is the bare minimum in a day.
Finally, we try to write something. On barebones days, it is as simple as writing down our current memory verse neatly. Moving beyond that, it is writing assignments from our curriculum and then writing prompts that they write by hand and then type up afterwards.
When you find yourself overwhelmed by all the things, start cutting out things. Simplify. Stick to the basics. Then when time allows, add in one or two extras. Let joy have room in your life and kick some subjects to the curb for a season.
Clarify your mission statement.
Just last week, someone blindsided me by asking why I homeschool. Now, I know why I homeschool. I love explaining that I homeschool to disciple my children in the love of the Lord and a love of reading so they can always ask questions and learn more once they are adults. There are so many reasons we choose to homeschool. I have a LOT of whys!
And honestly, on the really tough days and seasons, those “whys” keep me going. I am not motivated to sit down and grind through math and reading lessons each day. Nor do I love to correct and train my children over and over again when they are bickering over what is fair. But I know my mission and those challenges are just obstacles to overcome on the way to that mission accomplished.
What To Do
Why do you homeschool? If you don’t know why, you will face a lot of more doubt and despair in your homeschool journey. Take time to hone in on your mission statement. Write down your reasons why you homeschool. Pick one or two BIG reasons why you homeschool(teaching them the Bible every single day) and also mention the silly little reasons (like not having to meet up with a bus early in the morning!)
Oftentimes, as my husband and I get tired and face burnout, we sit down and talk about our “why” for what we do again. It helps clarify and strip away what is not important and helps us to keep moving forward on those days when we don’t want to.
Take up your cross and suffer.
Okay, this might be weird to include on the list but as Christians we are called to take up our cross as we follow Jesus. Bearing the cross of Christ means there will be times of suffering. Homeschooling is a cross we bear. We are choosing to follow the Biblical mandate to disciple our children throughout the entire day for several years.
In that time frame, there will be suffering. Now, we shouldn’t make choices that make us suffer needlessly. (For instance, suffer through a terrible curriculum choice when we know a different one would work better.) But there are just days when everything will stack up and it will be more than we can bear in our human strength. Kids will demand more than we can give. Our marriage will need attention we didn’t expect. Unfounded criticisms will be leveled against us. Grief will arise from tragedy. Health will falter. Big life changes occur. In short, life will happen and with that life is suffering as well as joy.
What To Do
Whatever it might be, sometimes we have to face the “hard” of homeschooling, and parenting, in general. On those days, seek the Lord often. Bow your head in prayer. Listen to or read your Bible a little longer that day. Turn off your phones and seek quiet time.
We need the Lord and His strength to do everything we face. Homeschooling is just a different facet of that truth.
So when something comes that can’t be avoided. Suffer graciously. Lean on the Lord fully. Times of hardship come but they also go and the love of homeschooling will return.
Create routines.
Routines are wonderful. Kids thrive on routines.
But routines can be hard to create. In our first weeks of parenting, we had a sweet little girl who dealt with terrible colic and purple crying fits that would go for hours. As a new parent, they were terrifying to experience. The doctors and nurses assured us it would pass in time. But as exhaustion set in, we wondered if we could do anything at all to help our little one past this struggle.
One nurse finally took me aside and suggested we begin a rigid routine and hold to it for at least four to six weeks. So, in desperation, we did. We probably took it too far but it was the only sliver of hope we had. Bedtime routine started at exactly 6:45 when we would remove her socks and sing a soft song while her bath water filled. Then we would undress by 6:50. Out of the bathtub by 6:55. We lived our day step by step. After one week, we noticed a difference. By a month and a half, her times of crying were extremely shortened and she was no longer labeled colicky.
Since then, we have changed and developed many routines that were not so run by the clock. For instance, when breakfast is over, we gather for family devotions. When that wraps up, it is time for the older kids to do independent work while I work with our preschooler on his little reading lesson. These routines are such a blessing. Behavior issues are far fewer and stress is a lot less.
We have routines for week days and routines for weekends. When our routines are broken, it shows. Not only in the kids but in my husband and myself. Fatigue sets in quicker. We snap at each other more about decisions that normally wouldn’t be a big deal. Over and over again, we have had to learn the lesson that routines matter!
What To Do
Take time and talk to your husband. Establish one or two simple routines for your family.
If this is your first time establishing routines. Talk through the routine each day with your kids until they are able to do the routine without gentle reminders or explanations. Most of all, give the routine time to work. Routines are not a quick fix nor are they quick to establish. Be patient and grow into them. With work and time, they will benefit your family.
Check your diet and your sleep schedule.
It has been a few years ago now, but when I had four kids under 5 years of age I saw a Facebook post stating that when Elijah felt like giving up, God had him take a nap and eat some food.
Sometimes, we forget that the most basic of things are necessary. We rush past the simple stuff and blame our kids or homeschooling or our husband for what is really caused by hunger and exhaustion.
This is a lesson, I continue to learn. Last Wednesday, I was in a funk and tired and dreading starting schoolwork for the day. I filled up my 28 oz. water bottle and sat it beside me while I slogged through the first hour of school. By the end of the hour, I had finished the bottle of water and noticed that I was perky and excited for the day. Seriously, don’t diminish the importance of some water and food and a good snooze. This is true for you and your kids! 🙂
What To Do
Make sure your love of homeschooling is bolstered by doing the simple things like eating regular healthy meals and following a healthy sleep schedule.
Some ideas that helped when I had lots of little ones and not much time and energy was to meal plan a month in advance. Then I would do one big online grocery order for all the staples for those meals. I set aside one day each week to do a small pickup order for necessities like milk and fresh fruit but changing my meal planning and big grocery trips to once a month really helped. Find ways to cut out decision fatigue about food in your day. Figure out what meals work best for your family and put them on repeat. Don’t re-invent the wheel each day with new recipes and don’t waste time running to the store for ingredients everyday.
Finally, set up a bedtime routine to help you and your kids start to sleep in a more consistent fashion. Do what works for your family but prioritize the basics and homeschooling will become easier.
Prioritze God and marriage first.
Marriage is the first institution established by God. He starts family with the marriage of a man and a woman. Beside our relationship with God, marriage is the next most important relationship.
Children and homeschooling have a way of making us forget that. Especially after some hard days or hard weeks, it is easy to get hyper focused on our kids and their needs.
Take time each day to focus on your spouse. Set times that are kid-free. We have designated quiet times in our house. Kids get fun, quiet games and books. Mom and Dad get time to make eye contact and finish a full sentence!
This sounds simple but I know it is not. We have in-home date nights once a month because our child-care options are pretty much non-existent. Someday, we will love to go out to a nice restaurant and do fun out-of-the-house date stuff again. But that is not in this season.
That’s okay. For now, we have to make sure we are nurturing our marriage in the day-to-day routine. I write notes to him. We hold hands while we watch a TV show in the evening. Sometimes, we sneak some good chocolate and just lay down and enjoy the sound of quiet for a few minutes together.
What To Do
Find out what works for you marriage but make sure that your husband knows that you still love him and prioritize a relationship with him. Tell him “thank you” whenever you can. Be his cheerleader. Speak up and respectfully tell him what you need done and when it needs to be done by. Don’t make him guess at what you want. Speak up and say it.
Kiss and be physically intimate. I know that sounds like a weird thing to put on this list but if Mom and Dad are on the same page and happy and smiling, the kids will love the “home” side of homeschooling so much more than if they hear you two fighting or giving each other the silent treatment or making snide comments behind each other’s back.
Give God and your husband the first priority and then bless your kids after that. It will help you keep your priorities straight which make for a happier home and a happier homeschool mama!
In Closing
Homeschooling has hard seasons.
Thanks for stopping by!